Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management by Nick Dubin and Valerie Gaus

"A remarkable and keenly insightful work from a brilliant and emerging leader in the autism self-advocacy community." - William Stillman, author of Autism and the God Connection and Demystifying the Autistic Experience"

Owner Reviews, Ratings, Comments and Criticism
Customer review from the Amazon Vine™ Program (What's this?) Oddly, I found out I had AS about the same time as the author-- 2004. The good news was that I wasn't an idiot, or a jerk, or cold-- my brain just works differently. The bad news was that it's a neurotypical world, and I'm just living in it. For most of my life, that means I've just been getting by having no idea what the problem was or how to help myself. It's hard to list all the disadvantages and frustrations that can result from AS, simply because there are so many. Multiple social failures and other issues can cause anxiety, depression and the dreaded meltdowns that I now know I've been having all my life. As an adult, getting by has been hard. Getting a diagnosis was harder. Getting help has been next to impossible. Doctors I've spoken with range from those who don't even know what I'm talking about, to those who equate autistic with stupid and completely blow me off. I even get those who simply don't want to help me because as an adult my brain is "hard-wired," meaning that there is nothing they can do for me as an adult because my brain has already formed into what it is. Almost all services and books I've found seem to be geared toward children, whose brains are still forming and can be trained to cope with their condition and get along much better in a neurotypical world. So you can imagine my excitement at the opportunity to read a book like this-- a self-help book written by an adult Aspie, for adult Aspies. I don't know how else to put it, but Dubin "speaks the language." When I'm reading, I feel as though I'm reading my own writing from another dimension, or the writing of a kindred spirit. While neurotypicals will certainly understand his writing, Aspies themselves will "feel" it. Finally, someone like me who can tell it like it is, someone who has a lot of past experiences in common with me who has pertinent advice and dare I say it-- a message of hope. Knowing that I am different, that there is a concrete reason for my difference from humans, has been half the battle. Learning to live in your world is the other half, and I think this book will prove beneficial even to non-aspies who just have an anxiety problem. This book has helped me see the benefits of cognative behavioral therapy (CBT) where neurotypical medical professionals were unable, or unwilling, to communicate it to me. While no book is a substitute for therapy, if you don't think you need a therapist, the tools provided here can be very effective. I realize now that I've lost jobs and promotions because of my difference, so I was already aware that I need to seek out jobs more suited to my capabilities. The chapter on employment will prove invaluable to any aspie who has been struggling with employment. There are so many wonderful things we can do given the chance! Dubin discusses how and when seek a therapist, the dreaded meltdowns, and even how anxiety affects your physical health. It also offers concrete, understandable advice on dating-- I've been married since I was 19 so I kind of skipped that part of life, but so many lonely Aspies will find this a useful chapter. There is a chapter which discusses the shame associated with AS, something that desperately needs to be addressed on a much wider scale than just a few pages in a book like this. It will give an Aspie tools to deal with their own shame, but it's not going to stop the shame that seems very deeply rooted in a lot of family members of those with AS. This is something that is going to require a fundamental shift in the way society and our human family members perceive us, not a few pages in one book. ("Have you tried NOT being autistic?" Ack!) Even if you're not religious, don't skip the chapter on spirituality. You'll find answers to a lot of questions about yourself in here, quite unexpectedly I might add. I now understand why I think about death so often and how to deal with that. I thought the interview with Dubin's parents was brave on his part, and offered a very good perspective on the childhood of an Aspie from the outside in. There is also information throughout the book that neurotypicals will find helpful when dealing with Aspies. In many areas, Dubin explains in no uncertain terms exactly why this causes that, and so forth. I marked areas that I thought were especially pertinent to me with little flags for my husband. Hubby doesn't have a lot of spare time to read things like this, but he did take the time to read through what I felt were key points and examples for me, and this has led to him having a much greater understanding of why I do some things, like my obsessive interests and the meltdowns. As with any reference book, I would not recommend this as your only reference for Asperger Syndrome or the autism spectrum. This book has not only helped me with its own contents, but through Amazon's recommendations, I've found other resources for adults with AS. This book has been very helpful to me personally and I highly recommend it to anyone with AS, to those who work with people with AS, and for anyone who loves an Aspie.