Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey and Tony Attwood

Asperger's Syndrome is one of the constellation of conditions known as autism. As both Willey and her young daughter have AS, her life story provides a startling look at how those with the syndrome experience the world. Willey grew up knowing only that she was somehow different, extremely intelligent, and extremely quirkybut accepted and valuedseems to have been the assessment of her parents, physicians, and others early in her life. Her peculiaritiesinability to find her way in unfamiliar places, and extreme aversion to people coming too close to her, to noise, to confusionbecame a devastating issue when she left home for the unfamiliar environment of college. From then on, Willey struggled mightily until she reached the safe haven of marriage to an outstandingly sympathetic partner, a fulfilling job teaching college, and motherhood. When her own daughter, one of twins, was diagnosed as an infant with Asperger's Syndrome, Willey immediately recognized herself: ``social action impairments, narrow interests, an insistence on repetitive routines, speech and language peculiarities, non-verbal communication problems and motor clumsiness . . . each of these symptoms is manifested in a variety of unique and diverse ways.'' Willey here compares her own experiences with her daughter's, her daughter's with her twin sister, who doesn't have AS, and the childhood peak in intensity of her daughter's symptoms with her own waning symptoms in middle age. In her appendices Willey offers extensive practical help and resources to AS sufferers. But even those not directly affected by AS will find this an eye-opening view into a parallel world. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Owner Reviews, Ratings, Comments and Criticism
I am proud of this writer for sharing her insights. The Autism Spectrum has many variations. She is definately on the highest end of the functional curve. It took me 40 years to understand enough about humans, their world with its complex social instituational and workplace expectations to keep a job. I only barely function well enough to remain employed now with lots of help. I manage my autistic issues within the parameters of most human social tolerances. I have mastered living alone in human society with few exceptions. I picked up the book upon reading the first few pages most of her experiences were immediately familiar to me. I guess where she and I diverge is in the fact she has done so well socializing with the humans. She also seems to have an understanding of human society, culture and its sophisticated ways that shocks me. My struggle has been hard, I have come from total backwardness to bare basics functionality in this world. I am not jealous of her success I respect it but she sounds so normal and in control it scares me. I guess thats the problem. She sounds as if she has everything about her AS under control. For me managing the anger and other issues associated with tantrums, desires to self mutalate, desires to fight those who touch me, make sudden loud noises among other things is a constant battle I am not always so certain I will win. Many times if things get too rough at work I have no alternative but to leave before I lose control and revert to feral instinct driven primal less appropriate resolutions of workplace situations. Her book almost frightens me because for some on the AS spectrum things are not that neat, cut, dry and controlled. I am so happy she does not have to deal with the uncontrolled issues threatening to get away I manage every moment, but I wish I knew how she managed to get things set up so nice. I still do not socialize well at all. I have no connection with anyone outside work. I do not socialize with family not because I do not want to, I LOVE my family, I just do not know how to establish and maintain connections with humans in situations that do not involve meeting a deadline or completing a structured task. Human relationships outside work have no structure and I am a lost foolish thing in such circumstances. The writer seems as adept plying the waters of human interpersonal relations as any so called neuro-typical human. She seems to have decoded even mastered the human equation expectations model far better than I have in my lifetime of trying. Me I am just struggling to stay afloat on the vast unforgiving sea of human reality. I must be satisfied to barely survive among humans in their society; as the best I can do is just enough to keep from being rejected from my job and institutionalized. I never even thought someone with AS could understand this world well enough to interact among the humans on advanced levels this writer has reached. The writer is doing more than just surviving among humans its almost as if she has mastered things in the human world I still do not know exist. This book is a great read and worth buying but please do not think all people with AS have it this easy. Please know that if you have AS you have a good chance of being successful in your chosen field if you stick with it and let NO ONE stand in your way. This book paints a picture of a person with AS that has had the best possible outcome which you must understand is extremely rare. My only problem with this book is I hope it does not give false hope to those struggling with the issues associated with living with AS or living on the spectrum. Please know that for most people with AS you will likely succeed if you try with all your heart. Just know that success in life will MORE LIKELY THAN NOT be a constant often painful struggle at college, on the job, at home and expecially in unstructured social situations among humans. Success in this human reality will more likely be a fight to survive in the storm of adversity not a cake walk in the sunshine of bright smiling faces that is this writers experience.